Tag Archives: Game

Who are you, really?

We like to imagine ourselves as the hero in our little narrative. We view ourselves differently than the world views us. Every gamma/omega secretly believes he is a lone wolf, a rugged individualist outcast. I believed that was who I was. The world viewed me differently. To the world I was nothing more than a shy loser, unnoticed and unnoticeable. I was reminded of this recently when I was contacted by a man who fills the shoes I once did.

The host of Rise Of the Omega, a new blog with potential, sent me an email (and I figured what better excuse to get back to posting) thanking me for introducing him to the manosphere.* In his initial post he says:

“That was me. I wanted to deny it but that was me. After I had read TGR White’s entire archive I followed the links from his blog to the rest of the mansophere. It was terrible. A harsh wake up call. I had always believed myself the cool loner but in reality I was the loser.”

which echoed my own sentiments upon finding pick up years ago (and here I quote the prologue to my still upcoming masterpiece:

‘It hurt. For the first time I had to look at myself honestly and it hurt. I did not realize what a loser I was.’

Finding out you are not who you think you are is harsh. It destroys you. Your entire life is formulated on the foundation of how you view yourself. You are faced with a choice: either you accept the reality that your identity is false and thus destroy the foundation of your life or else you double down and dig yourself deeper, burying yourself under layers of delusion and shrinking your world to those who reaffirm your belief in your view of yourself.

The longer you fail to confront the reality that the world views you different than you view yourself the further down the path of inevitability you are. I am not suggesting that changing is impossible but that the more of you life you build upon the false view of yourself the harder it is to accept reality, and the ensuing destruction of your world, and the more likely you are to double down. Each step you take down the wrong path in life makes it that much harder to correct.

Imagine your life as an ever widening path. The far left of the path represents where you are, no matter how you view yourself. The far right of the path is who you could be (and is often similar to how you view yourself). Each step further down the left makes the right side of the path further away. With each step you take it becomes that much less likely you will correct your trajectory.

And before I wander anymore from the point of this post: Does the world see you as you see yourself? Be honest?

What can you do to improve how the world sees you, to make you truly into the person you think you, the person you could be?

Who are you really?

*. Apparently another of my posts made reddit sometime in my absence.**

** I have been fulfilling the requirements to obtain a second year visa. I am planning on resuming posting regularly now that I am back in Civilization. I also plan to do a post on how America appears from the outside.

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Prologue: The Loser I was

The Autobiography of a Modern Male

By TGR White

I slumped back in my computer chair, dick in my hand as the legacy of another night of porn dripped down my bare leg. The blessedness of orgasm passes away and all that remains is the hollowness within my chest. A longing for human contact…wanting to curl up next to a woman, to hold her in my arms.

Through the thin wall I could hear the ecstatic moans as the girl of my dreams is fucked by another man. His grunts mingled with her heated cries of passion.

I was 21 and I had never had sex, never kissed a girl, never so much as held hands. In the animal kingdom I was the loser of the pack; the outcast; doomed to die alone.

I cleaned myself up; a nightly ritual. Shame and disgust shoved away the emptiness in my chest as I looked at the last movie clip still playing on my screen, searing its way into my subconscious. A middle aged woman, comely but not attractive, her face twisted in agony as her ass was mercilessly flogged by a fat dominatrix.

Next door my love screamed in orgasm as her latest bad boy pounded away. It should have been me in there. How did it come to this?

My obsession, nay addiction, with porn began in high school. When I was fourteen my parents bought our family’s first computer. My parents were not very computer literate and I had no trouble getting around their net filter. It began with photos of hot, naked women back when kilobytes were a big deal. By the time I was sixteen I had stumbled onto bondage photos. It was edgier, novel, degrading; alluring.

Every spare moment I had without anyone else in the house I would be on the computer, dick in hand, straining for sounds of a vehicle coming up the drive. My grades did not suffer but my social life did. I did not bother trying to chase girls with the zeal of my classmates. While other guys were losing their virginity I was beating off the kinky and the twisted. While others thought about prom I thought about tit torture. I had never been a social person and I became a complete loner and loser.

In college I rented the room of a house and spent my time alone, jerking it to porn. By now I was onto movies.

The worst of it was that I thought this made me part of the bondage community. I thought I knew the bondage models; thought that I belonged. I was not some vanilla; I was part of the scene. I was hardcore.

Porn does not kiss you, cuddle you or whisper secrets in your ear; porn doesn’t make you feel human; not yet anyway…

That is how, at the age of nineteen, I found myself a porn addicted anti social asexual loser. As far as life went, I sucked at it.

At the time I thought I loved her. In truth it was a childish infatuation. Her name was Sophie. She was nothing but the woman whom I elevated to the place of goddess and upon whom I placed all my desires, insecurities and neurotic hang ups. I believed that through her I could find Salvation; escape myself. How typical is that of the modern male? So uneasy within himself that he desires to lose himself in a woman? The first time I saw her I thought she was beautiful because she looked so sad, so broken, so in need of saving.

Sophie came into my life just when the agony of porn induced loneliness was making me think of changing my life. She was naturally vibrant and gregarious; as stark contrast to me. I decided she was the One. The special girl I would lose my virginity. I had no idea how to approach a girl, how to ask her out. A million ridiculous, pathetic and absolutely cringe-worthy ideas ran through my head. I still believed that magic just spontaneously happens, that somehow our first kiss would be accompanied by fireworks to a background Disney track.

I was a twenty year old guy and I still believed in fairytales.

Instead of making a move I hesitated. If I ever had any chance I wasted it away due to my fear. Fear of being rejected, of being laughed at. If I was not already there I crashed head first into the friend zone. She needed a new housemate and I jumped at the idea. I imagined domestic bliss and sex.

 There was not domestic bliss. There was sex. The first weekend after I moved in she bought some big guy back from the club. He could probably not spell his own name. It didn’t matter. He got to fuck her, to taste the sweat on her breast, to stare into her eyes at the moment of climax; I jacked off in my room. I was nearly twenty one.

There was no great moment of inspiration, no heart warming music, no great speeches or defining event; this is real life and life changing moments are seldom recognized at the time. Often they are only recognizable so far in the future that when you look back your memory is clouded. It was one too many nights of loneliness. Maybe my loneliness finally outweighed my fears. Maybe I was sick of hearing some other guy fucking the woman who should have been mine.

 All I can remember is that my life changed the night I found the pick up forum. Losers like me who discussed the best ways to get laid; who practised and practised until they found themselves swimming in a sea of pussy.

It hurt. For the first time I had to look at myself honestly and it hurt. I did not realize what a loser I was. I honestly don’t remember how I found the forum; all I know is that once I found it I couldn’t stop reading. The same stories over and over again from the same sort of guys. My story over and over again.

I was a loser in high school…I’ve never had sex…never had girlfriend….how do I get her to fall in love with me…want sex…want a girlfriend…scared to talk to girls…

And the advice came. I saved pages of tales, tips and tricks from aspiring and novice pick up artists. Make eye contact. Be cocky and funny. Neg to lower her Bitch Shield. Don’t be like every other Average Frustrated Chump. Use a canned opener to begin with. If you can, use a situational opener. Comment on something about her. Agree and Amplify. Get her in a sexual state. Mirror Her Body Language. Improve yourself. Workout. Dress Better. Get a Haircut. Walk like you have a pair.

The sun was rising when I finally stopped reading. I didn’t want to change who I was. I liked who I was. The hollow feeling in my chest said otherwise. Tomorrow I would begin. Tomorrow I begin my journey to becoming an alpha male pick up artist.

“The Autobiography of a Modern Male” copyright (c) 2013 by TGR White. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced for any commercial use without prior written approval from the author.
 

May you find what you are looking for

I asked what do I do and I still don’t have an exact answer. I am no prophet. I am not certain of the future, all I can do is extrapolate based on what I see around me. And what I see around me leads to me to believe the future is going to be a time of trial, uncertainty, harsh decisions and tough living, especially for the unprepared.

Our current society is very feminine. The future may be very masculine.

The US is now the Roman republic facing a crucial moment in history. It shall either become the next Roman empire, thus destroying the last remnants of the basis upon which the US was founded and wiping away the ever dying illusion of any power residing with the people, or it shall collapse due mostly to its own inertia and corruptedness.

When the Roman republic became the Roman empire it was due to fall but with any outside pressure Roman power was solidified into the greatest tyranny the world had ever known and would ever know up until the 20th Century.

The US appears to face outside pressure. The rise of Asia, the islamists inside the walls, bankers looting anything they can get their slimy fingers on.

Is Asia a paper tiger? Demographically they are in for a rough ride. Will Islam be defeated by feminism (tempt the women to unleash their hypergamic hamsters and no force can stop them). With the best and brightest of the West fleeing for new horizons, or contemplating it, will the US be undone by those it betrayed?

Our current war is economic though violence forever hovers at the fringes. When the guns and tanks of this modern cold war are nothing but ones and zeroes on banking computers controlled by a privileged few working behind the scenes, who can predict the outcome?

Prophets as I said, are hated. Truth tellers aren’t liked much better since the future is decided in the present and thus is an indictment of the present and the actions of those in the present.

[As an aside, forecasting the future effects the future. People react to a forecast of the future and take action based on that forecast, sometimes leading to a self fulfilling prophecy. The electability of Ron Paul is one such self fulfilling prophecy. Everyone says Ron Paul can’t win so you shouldn’t waste your time voting for him. If everyone acts on that forecast then of course he won’t win.

Similarly, if an economist predicts the economic will collapse and people follow his forecast and start hoarding money and making runs on the bank then stagnation followed by collapse is a possible outcome.

Who makes these predictions? Are they aware of the effect they have (cause following from predicted effect)? So, are these people really forecasting the future or are they trying to shape it? To what end?]

Nobody wants to hear doom and gloom, so don’t spread it unnecessarily.

Instead time to focus on the question of what is to be done?

Or rather, what do I do?

One thing must be readily stated: What matters is the individual and individual actions. Causes, ideologies, governments and so on are straws to grasp for those who are lost and without a strong sense of self.

Civilisation ought to suit humanity. Instead humanity is continually bent and broken to fit an unnatural civilisation. The effects of it are everywhere.

That dull look in people’s eyes, coping mechanisms: alcoholism, obesity, TV; depression and suicide; sex as the only time people feel human, or connect, or feel alive only at the point of orgasm. Alarm clocks, chronic lack of sleep, lack of exercise, burn out, lack of vigour, lack of life.

Always in shaping society the individual is lost. Any solution cannot be a top down approach. There is no such thing as a perfect society. One man’s utopia is another man’s hell. Do you imagine someone can plan the perfect life for you? Can you plan the perfect life  for another person? Imagine trying to do that 1 million times over, knowing that somewhere someone’s perfect life must be curtailed for another. How do you decide who takes precedence? How do you even compare, contrast and weigh happiness or preferences?

If the twentieth century has any legacy it is that planned societies do not work. The only approach is bottom up; individual action.

The best way to convince another person is through prolonged examples. Time, after all, is makes more converts than reason, especially when we live in an age of sophistry and emotion.

The action that can be taken is thus apparent; live your own life well. You owe that much to yourself.

Whatever your goal in life, there is one action you can take for others. Live your life so as to make them discontent with their own. That discontendness leads one to question their life and, if they have the strength, to change their life for the better. The more people who swallow the red pill and rebuild their lives to suit themselves instead of our dysfunctional matriarchy the better the future of prospects of the rest of society.

The pick up artist who leaves a legacy of broken hearts also leaves a plethora of clueless and jealous betas wondering how to be that man. The first step to being that man is to swallow a little of the red pill. For some, that is as far as it goes. For others, the truth of women’s base nature is only the beginning.

Being a player, three things matter. Health, wealth and freedom. The secret to good health is to escape the corporate feedlot and eat natural foods. Paleo is better. To do this, support your local farms. A small price to pay to be that old man banging sluts half his age while your contemporaries keel over with heart attacks in their wheel chairs.

The truth of wealth is that being an employee without your own source of independent income makes you a proletariat slave. If you have nothing to sell but your labor (no matter how good your suit) you are ultimately trapped.

And freedom is obvious. The more the government expands and attempts to limit your lifestyle the more you become, by necessity, wedded to the downfall of this matriarchal monstrosity.

[I am not talking about the feel good raising awareness of pink ribbons, status whoring bracelets or shitty Bono concerts but instead the raising of red pill truths, often subtly. A player’s very existence leads to the red pill. Game seems to the biggest precursor to the red pill.]

For the man who wants his own family, you have chosen the hardest path. So time to man up and grow a pair. You need the strength to turn your back on everything. You need the strength to trawl your way through pussy to find one worth mothering your children, and then you need the strength to devote your life to leading her and keeping her and making sure your family prospers.

Forget whatever old fashioned notions you were raised with. You need game. Hard core game. You need to know every single day that women are reflective and followers by nature. You need to shoulder the responsiblity that whatever happens may not be your fault but it is up to you to damn well fix it. So everyday you need to lead your woman and your family and keep the claws of the matriarchy out of them.

You also need economic freedom. If you want a family you need to provide what matters most. Time with their parents, a home education, a childhood worth having, and a sense of security. Move to wherever you think the best place to have kids would be. Smaller towns, crime free, where you can devote time, attention, and resources to raising the little monsters into passable human beings.

You need to be economically strong. The more sources of income you have, the better. The less you are tangled up with the system the better. Recognise that the secret is to accumulate wealth (which is more than currency) within the family unit.

To do this you need a woman who shares your values and vision. By the time you have accumulated the sort of wealth even needed to start a family you will probably be thirty or older. The importance of game here is paramount because your wife ought to be in her early to mid 20s, at the peak of her fertility. Don’t marry aging carousel dizzy cougars if you want the best shot at having healthy kids let alone having them raised well.

Essentially the future has three likely outcomes. Increased control, violent collapse or a peaceful collapse that is a return to a more distributivist society. The first two are more likely and the choice between them comes down to how suicidally greedy the government is and how complacent the people are.

A peaceful collapse, or rather, peaceful restructuring of society is possible. It can only happen through a bottom up approach, through men and women who want a future (i.e kids) becoming economically independent of the state, through a return to a redistribution of the bottlenecks of wealth more evenly amongst people.

This trend has began with homesteading and is why the government has declared such people domestic terrorists, began gun drawn raids on raw milk sellers, and is introducing agenda 21 legislation to control what people can do with their own land. This is why the government outlaws private (competing) currencies. MGTOW, frugality, location independence, the growing trend of entrepreneurship among the young are all part of this

The means of production more evenly distributed among the majority would lead to a freer market, one that does not need a government or corporate middle man. Communication advances mean buyer and seller can now negotiate without the interference of monopolies, whether they are global corporations or governments.

The less dependent any individual is on the Corporatist State monopoly the more of a threat that individual is.

The faceless peon who works a soul killing job to accumulate constantly devalued currency to spend on distractions from their empty lives, their only personal relationships full of resentment, gulping down mass manufactured garbage leading to chronic problems that need to be managed by cookie cutter healthcare that keeps your miserable existence going. The perfect citizen. The perfect consumer. Your life if you refuse to accept the red pill.

A return, in short, to a more distributivist, or free market economy is to starve the beast.

In a distributivist economy, where the free market was at its strongest and freest, wealth was accumulated among families. Families could mean extended families who had an economy of favors. Favors can’t be taxed and their valuation is not arbitrarily decided by how much bankers decide to inflate the currency but by what those involved feel is a good turn.

This cannot be regulated, organised or set up. It has to come about spontaneously, agreements reached between individuals. Value determined by each party at the point agreement is reached.

Families accumulated wealth for the future; for their kids. Demographics matter. Before the rise of Corporatism families raised kids, not daycare, schools or the government. Kids learned that reliance and trust went with blood, friendship and honour. Relationships that created bonds threatening to the Corporatist State and thus were undermined.

Demographically its these kids, the next generation of home schooled red pill kids, who will reap the benefits of our benevolence our suffer our short sightedness.

I see an undercurrent of pent up anger, of desperation waiting for a spark. We are in a calm before the storm. Everyone senses something is wrong but no one dare name it publicly. Everybody is trying to raise awareness because no one dare take action. To take action is to open yourself up to vulnerability, to being a target, a worse to finding no one stands with you. We are a spark away from a revolution but who wants to be that spark?

It’s a prisoner’s dilemma situation. The alternative is to withdraw. You don’t need to destroy this sick society. You only need to realise that you, and people like you, are what holds this sick society up. Through your actions you tacitly support the beast which is raping you and pillaging your future.

Choosing to turn your back on all this and getting others to do the same will just as effectively bring it all crumbling down. Why stand in front of tanks when you can convince all the tank mechanics to let them fall to bits?

As you age your goals in life change. Right now I am young man and I want to enjoy life. One day my goals my change. Always better to keep your options as open as you can.

Finally I can answer, what do I do? Or rather, what am I doing?

My goal is currently pursuing my passion with short term gratification on the side.

I am reducing the hold the system has on me, reducing my dependence upon the state and upon major corporations.

I am also trying to incorporate basic diligence about security and anonymity into my routine. One day I may come to the attention of the authorities or be wanted for some trumped up crime (maybe I forgot to take some ONS to breakfast) and if that day comes I will be more prepared than not. I have seen people falsely convicted. No thanks.

I do not eat the feedlot swill and I protect my health as best I can.

I do not partake of a soul killing job for a paycheck to blow on escapist entertainment so I can forget my daily drudgery for a moment.

I spend time pursuing my passion, which I neglected for a long time to try and walk the blue pill path, struggling against my soul the whole time.

I am relearning game and I am devoting my life to myself.

I am constantly trying to improve myself.

I have not ruled out a family or future some day so I keep my options open.

I keep aware of what is going on lest I awake one day to find myself trapped within a police state.

I live my life is an example to others. In person I rarely mention red pill truths unless asked. Every person who asks my advice though is subtly introduced to red pill thinking.

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/why-communism-killed-american-muse.html

http://freenortherner.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/its-all-related/

http://apocalypsecometh.com/the-fema-corps/

http://www.staresattheworld.com/2012/10/agenda-grinding-america-down/

http://theincendiaryinsight.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/welcome-to-fema-corps-citizen.html#!/2012/10/welcome-to-fema-corps-citizen.html

“Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Educate and inform the whole mass of the people… They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.” – Thomas Jefferson

“It will bring a mark of everlasting infamy on the present generation – enlightened as it is – if we should suffer them [freedom and Constitution] to be wrested from us by violence without a struggle, or to be cheated out of them by the artifices of designing men.” -Samuel Adams

““If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” -George Bernard Shaw

Captain Capitalism points out that economics and the manosphere are but different sides of the same coin; the eternal battle between those who want to be their own masters and those who want mummy, in whatever form, to run their lives. Free Northerner asks what can we do, for to stand idly by is to seal our own fates.
If history has one lesson worth heeding it is that liberty is always eroded and government encroaches until it reaches a point where men who crave to live their own lives are forced to react. Are we of the manosphere unexpectedly and against our own wants forced to be such men?

The Captain notes that he was led to manosphere truths by studying economics, thus revealing their intersection at the issue of freedom.
The red pill is a bitter, slow acting anti hallucinogen that slowly removes conventional wisdom delusions, starting with the one you consider the most obviously suspect.
Yet the more red pill you swallow the more truth you are forced to accept. For many it becomes too much. Their entire world falls apart and they cling for solid ground, choosing some arbitrary basis of blue pill delusion to hang onto and rebuild their life around. These are the ones who know game but refuse to accept any other red pill truth or the ones who have found the reality of our feedlotted existence but refuse to examine their assumptions about the rest of the conventional wisdom they were raised on.
Many are so dependent upon blue pill reality that they will rage and fight to maintain their delusions rather than admit the reality their own eyes daily behold.
For those who continue to take the red pill you enter free fall, with every truth you took for granted falling away; your entire world crumbling, desperately searching for something to hold onto. As Free Notherner notes, its all connected. The rabbit hole goes so deep that it seems endless, that you will never find any truths to cling to.
I am no revolutionary and certainly no prophet. I am a hedonistic bastard, interested in my own freedom and graitification. Yet everywhere I turn the yoke of authoritarianism tightens. It has many guises; feminism, environmentalism, agenda 21, the war against terrorism, the war against drugs, compulsory health care, all of which lead to somebody else trying to run my life for me.
My health is destroyed by lab cooked experiments that pass for food on the supermarket shelves, my debaunchery is increasingly outlawed and socially conedemned (expanded definitions of domestic abuse, female regret becoming rape), my future is becoming bleaker with any attempts to secure wealth being undermined by government policies (lets hyperinflate the economy for shits and giggles), stolen by bankers (Barclay’s is only the tip of the iceberg), given to others (affirmative action) and if I wanted one, there is no chance I could have a marriage and family in the US.
I am a single young man, the greatest force on the planet, and I waste my time on my own pleasures while the noose tightens that will ensure my inescapable slavery.
I started off learning game because of my failures with women. That led me, kicking and screaming to self improvement and to the red pill. What began as hedonism ends with the realisation that my actions, multiplied by others, may affect the course of history. In short, short sighted hedonism is a trap, a way of enslaving myself and future men in the matriachy.
What then do I do?

MGTOW v MRA V Game V Christianospherists v Acronymists…

SFTU with all the labelling. Research has concluded that internet usage breeds aspergy anal retentiveness. Stop trying to categorise, label and pigeonhole everything. That said, this is how I see it all:

MGTOW: Those who are withdrawing from society because they know it’s a bad deal. Some of them are withdrawing from bothering with women too. Those who not are also gamers.

Game: Its game, not game theory (that’s math). Game (capital G) is Roosh et al and it is a lifestyle of chasing pussy. It was pioneered by Ross Jeffries, later Mystery and so on. It looks to be on the decline.

game (little g) is just men learning the truth about women (or as much truth as is necessary, the whole truth of women would drive any man to suicide) and treating women accordingly. It is a tool, not a lifestyle. You can be (insert x here) and game women just as you can be (insert x here) and run marathons without building your entire life and identity around it.

MRA: Men who have been screwed over by society and know women have it better. Women have always had it better and always will. That’s life.

MRAs may have genuine grievances and legitimate and just causes, but frankly, no one gives a damn. Life is not fair. Part of life is that humans are an animal and have animal instincts. In many species weak males stir deep revulsion in females, contempt in formerly weak males and barely a glimmer of sympathy among other weak males, and humans are one of those species.

Women have feminism because they bitch and moan and whine and other women side with them and most mediocre males bend over and take whatever women want them to take for the mere whiff of potential pussy.

Men are expected to be strong, stoic and to get shit done and not whinge about it. Sorry MRAs (and I truly mean this), no matter how righteous your causes, on a visceral level you are doomed to failure.

Alt Right: Basically right wingers (WTF does that even mean in contemporary context?) who distance themselves from mainstream right wingers (who are just reactionaries to leftist nonsense). An incoherent political stance that sometimes wants more government intervention to solve our problems and sometimes less. Indeed, alt right may be best characterized as a reactionary movement to a reactionary movement.

Libertarians: Misnomer. Often nothing more than corporate shills, especially those who support the Libertarian party.

Christian/Orthosphere: Christians who have discovered how PC the Church is. Caught between the truth og the manosphere and whatever the Church says.

The manosphere: The great resurgence of philosophic and modern thought…or rather a loose connection of blogs that link incestuously to each other with no clear boundaries that covers everything from personal development to economic forecasting and includes all the above mentioned categories.

Is there anyone I forget? Is there someone I didn’t piss off? I can remember back before Ferd, when Roissy was just Roissy in DC, before there was a manosphere, which is why I say to stop bickering and take what you need, don’t try to conform to any label and get on with living your life. Arguing over who is in what clique is for high school girls.

N.B. This was wrote as a commentary to Roosh calling out MRAs and the ensuing storm. I forgot I had written this and found it lying on my computer demanding to be posted before it becomes ancient history.